I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
