I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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