Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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