is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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