If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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