i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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