I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
