She even gives head with a lisp.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
