I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
