i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
