look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
