Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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