Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
