My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
