i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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