It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
