Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
