She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
