She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
