I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
