How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
