I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
