we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He passed out mid-signature
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
