quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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