You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
