We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
