Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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