i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish I only lived at night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
