dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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