Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
