i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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