Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
