I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
