yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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