I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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