White coat. Heels.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
