I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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