I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
