Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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