all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
