Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
