He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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