As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Couch. On fire.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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