Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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