I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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