She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
