Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
