omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
