Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
