lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
